{ a birth story... part one }

Well this post is long overdue. Although, I still can't believe i'm writing it! You carry this baby for nine loooooong months, wondering almost everyday how this story is going to go.. and here I am with the sweetest little girl in my arms, writing about how she made her perfect entrance into this world. I love to go back and read all the details of Rowan's birth story, the details are what make me remember, and take me back to that place. And if I don't write it down, the details slip away from my memory... So I'm writing it all. It's long. It might be T.M.I., so if that's not your thing, you can just look at the pics. And this really is for me, anyways. But the birth of life is so amazing. So here it goes.

Because of how everything went with Rowan, I assumed things with this baby girl would be similar. Dr. Judd told me at almost every doctor's appointment that I went to, "Women tend to follow patterns.." So, not that I expected to have this baby 19 days early, but I thought she would be around the same time. When that time started to very quickly approach, I kind of started freaking out! I wanted to feel really ready physically, emotionally, and mentally for this baby, and I was NOT ready for her to come yet. I had alot of breakdowns, and Jord was able to give me a really sweet blessing that I would feel at peace, and that this was such an exciting time in our lives. It really helped ease my troubles.
Up in Logan, I got checked by the doctor (to see if I had progressed at all) starting at 35 weeks. Dr. Judd said he doesn't start checking until 37-38 weeks, which was fine, but I was starting to get anxious wondering what was happening with this baby. So when I got checked at 37.5 weeks and out of the mouth of Dr. Judd "there is absolutely nothin goin on down there," It kind of threw me off. Really? Absolutely nothing? Well, I was still in a little bit of panic mode, so at least I had some time to finish things up. And I did. I was able to get alot done at my house. I was starting to feel totally ready for her to get here. Well, I walked in to my dr's appt that next week, I was 38.5 weeks. Dr. Judd said "Well, you're not gonna like me when I tell you this." And my heart sank. Seriously? Nothin?!?! I was so disappointed and shocked that n.o.t.h.i.n.g was going on. I didn't expect to walk in to that appointment and have them tell me that she was coming that day, but I wanted SOMETHING to be happening. After Dr. Judd left the room, I started crying. Ha ha, story of my life. It's funny now, looking back at how fast my emotions changed from not wanting her to come yet, to why the heck is she not coming? ha ha. I also really really really didn't want to have a halloween baby. I just didn't. And from the beginning of this pregnancy, I didn't think we'd make it even close to my due date (November 1st), so I wasn't worried about the halloween thing at all. But here we were, 10 days from my due date, with halloween quickly approaching. I was so shocked! We had also talked about the possibility of being induced. Again, I never thought I would make it far enough to have to be induced, I really wanted to go on my own. But I think the thought of having a halloween baby clouded any thoughts I had about letting this baby go on her own, that I was willing to force her out! (We did the April Fool's baby thing with Rowan, I didn't want a holiday tradition to continue with our kids..).

Thursday, October 24th, one day shy of being 39 weeks. Jord and I decided we needed to get to the temple. It would be much harder to go when our baby girl got here, so I wanted to go before she came. We dropped Rowan off at my parents and we went down to the Provo Temple. I actually had never been to that one. It was a beautiful site. And I was at peace the entire time during the session. I remember feeling so grateful for my sweet husband, who had been such a good support to me (a crazy prego lady). We went and picked up Rowan and went home. As soon as we laid her down to go to bed, I started feeling some intense braxton hicks. I was sitting on the couch, grimacing at every one. They started getting pretty close together. After about 30 minutes, I told Jord what was happening, so he started timing them. After an hour, they were consistently 4-5 minutes apart. But I just didn't feel like they were hard enough. And we had definitely learned our lesson with Rowan about going in too early and getting sent home. I was NOT going to make that mistake again. After about another 30 minutes, they stopped. How frustrating! I went to sleep, and they never came back.
39 weeks came. A week that I really didn't think I would make it to. Oh man. I was trying to do everything and anything to help keep me busy. I vacuumed the whole house, again. I was washing the floors and baseboards, again. I was doing lots of activities with rowan; we both went and got pedicures, we watched movies in our jammies in my bed. I was really anxious for my appointment that monday, when I would be 39.5 weeks, to find out if Dr. Judd would induce me. If I still hadn't made any progress at that appointment, than he wouldn't induce me and I would have to wait a whole other week to get checked again (which would be AFTER my due date!) I said a prayer that monday morning that I would be calm, and that I would be at peace with whatever the doctor said. And especially that, if a decision needed to be made, that I would do whatever was best for the baby. Dr. Judd said "Well, your cervix isn't stupendous, but i'll give you the option of being induced tomorrow if you'd like to."....... music to my ears. But after a half hour of talking about what would be best for the baby, or if it would increase my chances of having a c-section, the three of us decided that it would be just fine to be induced the next day. YAY! I was so thrilled. He said that I was probably looking at a couple more hours of labor because I hadn't made that much progression, but I didn't care about a couple more hours. The only advice he gave to me was "I would get the epidural as soon as you get there... It is not necessary to feel pain. Just get it!" Okay! We walked out of the doctors office with the biggest smiles on our faces, we were having a baby TOMORROW! We went home and I wanted to get so many things done. After talking to my mom, we decided that Rowan would go sleep at their house since Jord and I had to be at the hospital at 5 a.m. So we went home, finished packing, showered and went to dinner at Outback for the last time as a family of 3. I totally cried the whole time thinking of Rowan, how her life was going to change dramatically and how much I loved all the time it got to be just me and her. (Tears? shocking! ha ha). But then we dropped her off at my mom and dad's. We laid her down to sleep and I cried even harder. We went home, got everything ready, and I think I slept for about an hour that night.

Tuesday, October 29th. We got up VERY early, about 4. It was still pitch black outside. That was a nice thing, driving to the hospital knowing that we were coming back with a baby no matter what, (not getting sent home.) We checked into the hospital right at 5. We found our room, and saw that it was much bigger than the one in Logan, where I delivered Rowan, and we would also be staying in that room the whole time. I liked that, that we wouldn't have to move to a different one. And Jord was very pleased about the bigger bed this time around ;) I walked in and saw that baby bin and just said "What!? This is really happening!" crazy. I got changed, the nurse came in and asked us about a jillion questions.

6:00 a.m: The nurse checked me (OUCH!) and said I was at a 3.5. Which totally surprised me! I thought I was at a 0. But then she informed me that Dr. Judd doesn't tell people if they are dilated or not if their cervix isn't doing anything. Which totally made sense to me, but I could have been dilating this whole time, which would have relieved a lot of my stress because I thought my body wasn't doing anything! But then we got the I.V. in, (ouch again!) and started pitocin. She asked what I wanted to do about the epidural, and I thought "what the heck? I'll just get it right now." So she went and paged the anesthesiologist.

7:15 a.m: The anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural, which I was nervous about. With Rowan, we could never get the left side to really work. I had to lay on my left side the whole time with her, which helped a little bit, but I never felt like it totally numbed up my left side. So I was sure to tell this guy about that. He tried adjusting it over and over again. I almost felt like the needle was going into my lumbar bones, which was a bizarre feeling. He kept saying "Which side do you feel that on?" and it was my right side everytime. Well I don't know if he just gave up trying, but he definitely pretended that it was good. They told me to lay on my left side again to help it, which it did.... for a minute. After he was done and gone, the nurse said "okay, this is where you can just relax, and try and get some sleep if you can." So Jord popped in a movie and they set up pillows all around me, turned off all the lights and I remember thinking I don't know if i've ever been more comfortable or relaxed in my whole life. Seriously, that was SO awesome. I didn't have to feel ONE of those evil contractions, and I was ecstatic about that. I did, however, have the worst itching craze for many hours after I got the epidural. Far worse than I did with Rowan. But hey, i'll take the itchy body over contractions any day. The nurse left and said that she would go page Dr. Judd to come in and brake my water. Because of what Dr. Judd had said the day before, about tacking on a few extra hours of delivery, I expected that we would have a baby by late-afternoon. So I was prepared to hang out and get some rest. It took me 30 minutes or so to fall asleep.

8:20 a.m: I suddenly was woken up by the warmest and gushiest flood of something on my legs. I immediately woke up Jord and said "Babe, either I just peed everywhere, or my water just broke!" It took him a minute to get what he was saying, but he got up and paged the nurse. She came in and said "Yep, your water definitely broke." So as she was cleaning everything up, she checked me and guessed that I was probably at a 5.5 or 6. Which made me so happy that my body was doing what it should.. progressing. She said that we would probably have a baby around noon. Nice! I, for some reason, was really loopy during all of this. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was because I really had just fallen asleep and was woken up too fast... probably both. But I remember arguing with Jord about something that I had posted on instagram. I really was SO loopy. It was hilarious. I also texted my sister, Brynne right then because I wanted her to come to the hospital and take LOTS of pictures, of the birth and everything. She told me to text her when I was at a 5, so I texted her just after 8:30 and told her I was a 5.5 or 6 and that the baby would probably be here around noon. She said "Okay, I'll leave here soon. " (She lives an hour away.)

9:00 a.m: I was still trying to come back to reality (I really can't believe how loopy I was) when all of a sudden, I felt the sharpest pain and pressure. Literally, I immediately started crying and said "Jord, something's wrong. I feel something so intense and painful and it's not going away." It was mostly on my left side, but really, when pain is so intense, it's hard to pinpoint where it actually was. Jord called down the hall to the nurse and she came in and checked me and said "Well, you're ready to have this baby!" WHAT!?!? I looked at Jord and he got the biggest smile on his face and asked "Is she at a 10?" and she said "She sure is! This baby is ready." Again, I was not back to reality yet and I just kept thinking what the heck? how did I go from a 5.5 or 6 to a 10 in a half hour!?!? However, I was still crying because this pain was intense! I had never felt this with Rowan... pretty close, but this was definitely worse. I was gripping both sides of my bed just crying. But now I knew that it was because she was crowning! That darn left side. The nurse said "Unfortunately, I can't give you anything to help. Another dose of the epidural is going to take 10 or so minutes to kick in, and this baby isn't going to wait that long." All of a sudden, more and more people kept piling in the room getting everything ready for that baby. Drawers were being open and closed, different lights were being turned on and off, Jord could have been jumping up and down with excitement, I don't know. I just remember thinking wait, what??! what's going on? is this really happening right now? we need to wait for my sister to get here! as they are lifting my legs up into those dang stirrups. { I hate those things. Could there be a more embarassing or unflattering position than being spread eagle with your legs high in the air? } Dr. Judd walks in and says "Well I'm glad they caught me in the parking lot." He put on an apron, slapped those gloves on and then it was go time. I pushed once and oh man, that burning was so instense and painful. Dr. Judd said "push one more time" So I pushed really hard and he said "okay, you can stop! Here she is."

9:08 a.m: She was here. Our sweet baby girl. 7 lbs 15 oz 19.5 inches long. They didn't immediately put her on my chest, but I didn't even notice. I was bawling, more out of joy that she was here, safe and sound, but also relief that the pain was over. I couldn't believe how fast that all happened. I think I was a little bit shocked and confused. Jord went over the corner with the nurse and our baby girl to take pictures and I remember him saying "I have TWO kids!" I was laugh-crying at this point, trying to catch my breath.


--- and might I just add at how proud of Jord I am, for these pictures! I was so disappointed that my sister couldn't make it to take my "birth story" pictures, (obviously because things happened SO fast!) but jord did such an awesome job. -----

They cleaned her up for a minute, and then brought her over to me so we could do skin-to-skin. She was crying until they put her on my chest and then she immediately stopped. She just laid there with her eyes open, and was so calm. It was such a perfect moment. There is nothing like holding your baby for the first time. Absolutely nothing.

I love her. Oh, how I love her.

After they made sure everything was okay for me and baby love, they all left. It was just the three of us and it was so quiet and peaceful. We just stared at her. She was straight from heaven. So precious, so innocent. I remember thinking, very early on, how much she looked like Rowan. The hair, the nose, the cherry red lips. She was here, and she was perfect. We didn't have a set name yet. Jord liked one better, and I liked another better. But it didn't matter at that point. 

After about an hour, the nurses came back to help me get up and move around, and also to take the babe to the nursery for her first bath. I told Jord to go with the baby while I stayed and got help from the nurses. Again, I'm so proud of him for taking these pics. He did such a good job!

she, obviously, was not a fan of this.

the story and alot more pictures continued on the next post!

{38 weeks..}

i know, i know. im very large. i begged my sisters not to take this picture because i was going to be the biggest. of course, it should be expected, i'm the furthest along. but it's not the most comforting thing to look the biggest in a picture. but hey... how many times are you pregs with your sisters?!? had to do it.

me: 38 weeks, linds: 32 weeks, brynne: 17 weeks



Update: 38 weeks

I am pretty much the most emotional, up and down, pregnant girl there ever was on the planet. last week, i was freaking out about this baby coming..... and everything that comes with it. this week, i'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. and i think its because there is NO sign of baby coming anytime soon. so now i'm kind of like "what the heck?" And i really don't think i expected her to be here, 3 weeks early like her big sister, but i think by 38.5 weeks, i expected there to be some sort of sign of her coming. The doc said that absolutely NOTHIN is going on down there. and now i don't even know if i'm going to be able to be induced on the 28th like i thought. so let's just say, i'm emotional about all of it.  we'll see how my apt goes this week!

{the last few weeks..}

36 Weeks: What I Know Now

- I am having sheer panic attacks knowing that our baby is coming in such a short amount of time. I think that fact that it's October now just made everything really real. And don't get me wrong, I am so happy and excited.... but I want to feel ready. And right now I don't feel ready.

- I am not sleeping at all. If it's not the heartburn, its because I have to pee. If it's not because I have to pee, it's because my hips are throbbing and I need to change sides. If it's not my hips, than it's my back. And if it's not my back, it's because rowan wakes up. Blah blah... and if it's not one of those 100 reasons that any (very) pregnant girl can relate too, than it's just because I can't shut my brain off. It's just REALLY hard to sleep these days!

- I am down to my one-week appointments now. Crazy! So far I've gained 24 lbs. I'm pretty much exactly where I was with Rowan.

- My belly is gettin biiiiiiiiiiiig. I feel like baby girl has totally popped these last two weeks. I catch all my crumbs and spills on my belly these days.

- This may be TMI, but I look, walk, and especially feel like someone has kicked me over and over in the crotch. I am SO incredibly sore down there. ouch.

- Baby girl's moves are not to sweet and little anymore. They are getting fewer, just because she has so little room to move around now, but they are hard!

- Rowan talks about the baby all the time now, and it's really sweet. Part of my anxiety of doing this all again was because now I have a toddler who needs my attention as well as a newborn. But the way rowan talks about helping "baby gurl" with her woobie, and her passie... just makes me excited for their future as sisters.

- I am not really swollen at all anywhere, I feel pretty lucky. and no stretchmarks.... yet.

- I am finally able to cross things off my "to-do" list lately, and it's helping ease the anxiety. I think I'm way more freakishly "nesting" than I did with rowan. I just want everything to be clean, and I especially want everything to be organized so that my only worry is for my two little girls.

- I have been crying alot over everything lately. dang hormones. and poor jord.

- Did I mention how bad my back has been hurting? ugh.

- Still at the same place with names. I think, I THINK, we have it narrowed down to two names. and I bounce between both daily.

- I think that I have mentioned before.. but I became overly obsessed with buying clothes for this baby girl. Mostly because her and Rowan are being born in opposite seasons, so I pretty much had to start from scratch. But also because I feel like my style has changed alot since Rowan was born. But I literally go in her room, and look at her outfits i've bought, over and over again! It's rediculous. But they're so cute and tiny!!

{the journal..}

32 Weeks: What I Know Now

- This pregnancy really is just absolutely flying. Now that summer is officially over, I feel like our baby girl is going to be here so soon. I better get a move on it!

- My "episodes" where I feel like i'm going to pass out have gotten worse than EVER. at my apt this week, i actually passed out at the doctors. We were in a room that was hot, it had been a couple hours since I ate, and I was just sitting in a bad position. All of a sudden, the voices in the room just started getting muffled, and everything started getting dark and i just slumped over on the bed. it was awful, and embarrassing. But I guess if you're gonna have troubles, it might as well be in front of your doctor.

- I've gained 19 lbs so far this pregnancy. I think i'm pretty much where I was with Rowan.

- My dreams are so real and intense these days!

- Recently, I'm lovin on salads and soups. (zupa's is my fave.)

- We got family/maternity pictures taken this week..... and one thing is for sure, i'll never try and get away with wearing non-maternity pants again. I feel like I look HUGE in these pictures. oh well.

- I feel you getting the hiccups more often now and its sweet and sad. sweet, because they're just little rythmic bumps on my tummy. sad, because you jolt a leg or an arm out after everyone.. which probably means they bother you. sorry baby girl!

- I don't sleep at all anymore. Sometimes I'm awake for 2-3 or sometimes 4 hours a night. It's miserable.

- I can't believe we are down to single digits until you get here. ahhhhh!

- Still struggling with names. I really have a hard time getting Jord to agree on anything I like. And then I finally convince him, and then I'm the one who doesn't like it anymore. Naming a baby comes with alot of pressure and responsibility.

{pregnancy journal..}

28 Weeks: What I Know Now

- I absolutely loathe heartburn. I cannot believe how bad it is already. And I still feel like I have forever and ever to go.

- I just want to say how much I love our doctor. (Dr. Judd). He delivered alot of my siblings, Jord & alot of his siblings. He's been an OBGYN for over 40 years... which means he knows what he's doing. I just feel like our "chemistry" works with him. He always spends as much time with us as we need. He answers all of my questions. I just really like him alot.

- Baby Girl has found a very uncomfortable resting place for her feet in my right ribs.. just like her big sister. Some of those kicks reeealllllyyyyy hurt and make my whole body jolt. Not fun.

- I've gained 15 lbs so far. Still doing pretty good about working out.

- I'm starting to lose more and more sleep. There are alot of reasons. But the main one is that my hips THROB at night. I have to switch to the other side, what feels like, every hour. I seriously can't believe how much, and how easy, they hurt. 

- I have these weird "episodes" where I all-of-a-sudden feel like i'm going to pass out. It's hard to find relief unless I can immediately lay down on a flat surface. I think that i've figured out it's just a really bad combination of pregnancy, bad circulation, and heat. But it's no fun.

- I have become horribly addicted to shopping for this baby girl. Because she will be born in the opposite season as rowan, we really had to start over with the clothes (minus the jammies). I mean, i'm not complaining or anything. ha ha!

- I am losing energy quickly. We have been quite busy lately, but I still feel like I lack a ton of energy these days.

- My back is killing me. Especially when im really active and moving one day, I almost have to crawl around my house the next day it's so bad. I really didn't ever experience this with rowan. My doctor just keeps telling me, "each pregnancy gets harder and harder on your body." yay. ; /

- I'm happy to be in the third and final trimester, wahoo! 

{the last few weeks...}

24 Weeks: What I Know Now

- So, since my last "what i know now" we found out that we are NOT having a boy, and we are actually having a girl. what are the chances? it's such a crazy story, and so weird. but now that we've had some time to wrap our heads around it, and change our minds to thinking that the same baby we have been calling a boy, is now in fact a girl, we are THRILLED. i am especially excited for rowan, to have a sister.

- we have been trying to convince rowan that the baby in momma's tummy is a girl now. and she just keeps saying, "no, baby BOY!" poor girl, i think we have confused her to no end.

- the dreaded heartburn as started already and i am not happy about it. to the point where i am waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air because i am choking on the acid coming up my throat. i thought i would have a few more weeks of just enjoying pregnancy, but i guess not. ;)

- i've gained 12 lbs so far. still doing pretty good about going to the gym. but seeing as how i've gained 4 more lbs at this point, than when i was pregnant with rowan, maybe i'm not doing as well as i thought.

- i am shocked at how much my chest has grown. when i first found out i was pregnant, i actually felt pain as they grew. i know they got bigger when i was pregnant with rowan, but i never felt like they hurt. boy, this time i really feel it. and i hate it. it just makes me feel bigger and more chubs when they get big like this. sorry for TMI?!?

- baby girls kicks are still so sweet. i love feeling them, but i especially love watching them.

- i am not enjoying the heat of the summer. but we have, for the first time, a pool in our backyard and rowan and i go swimming at least 4-5 times a week. it helps cool me off and take some weight off of the belly.

- we have been busy busy busy lately with spending time with the twinner girls before they leave on their missions. mini vacations, and lots of sister time. we leave our house in the morning, and dont come back til late at night, so i've been SO tired lately! i know it's a combination of the two- busy and pregnant.

- i can't believe we're over halfway, time is going by so fast!

{um... confused?}

SO....... um. we're not having a boy. 

we're having a girl!

we are as confused as anyone. but laughing at the same time. it's kind of a funny story....

We went to our 20 week ultrasound last tuesday (the 18th) really just anxious to see that everything looked good with our little boy. You never know when something appears out of the blue.. and I work myself up and get anxious before these kinds of appointments. Well go figure that we waited 45 minutes before we got back to see the ultrasound technician. I know things happen, but when you are already anxious, waiting for an extra long period of time doesn't help.

Ultrasound Technician: So is this a gender reveal for you guys?

Me: We actually already know it's a boy.

Jord: We're just confirming it's a boy.

Ultrasound Technician: Okay, well let's get to it.

She proceeds to go over the baby's brain, and the baby's heart, and the baby's spine. She was very careful and very specific which kind of made me nervous because our 20 week ultrasound with rowan wasn't as specific as this one. Naturally, I started to get worried. But she reassured me everything was fine. So i was relieved and thought the hard part was over.

Ultrasound technician: You have a really active baby, i'm having a hard time getting a clear shot of anything.

Me: Yes, this I know.

Ultrasound technician: But you said it was a boy, right?

Me: That's what we were told! How come?

Ultrasound technician: I'm just not seeing anything down there that would tell me this was a boy. 

Me: Really, how funny.

Jord: Oh, gosh. Are you serious?

Ultrasound technician: You guys, there isn't anything down there. 

Me: laughing, Like, REALLY? cause that would be really funny if this wasn't a boy.

Ultrasound technician: I just am not seeing anything that would tell me this was a boy. And if you hadn't told me that this was a boy, I would have absolutely told you that this was a girl.

Me and Jord are laughing at this point and so confused: Are you sure?

Ultrasound Technician: Your baby is really moving around a lot, and it's legs are close together, so i'm really sorry if i'm wrong, but all is see is a girl.

So we finish the ultrasound SO confused. We kind of didn't really feel like we got an answer?!? So we laughed hysterically on the way out of the dr. office and thought well, what? We were back to not knowing what our baby was. We had a row of sonograms that said we were having a boy, and a row of sonograms saying we were having a girl. We immediately went home and called Fetal Studio, the place where we were told it was a boy. We told them the story and they said that they would re-check us for free, but they wanted the "head hauncho" to do our ultrasound and he was out of town. The soonest we could get in would be the next Monday (the 24th). Everyone we told the story to after that had heard of people being told they were having girls, and then bringing home boys from the hospital. But no one told me the other way around. So I was still kind of convinced we were having a boy, that maybe he was just hiding the goods. 

Well, yesterday was the appointment. The guy didn't waste any time trying to show us cute pictures or positions of the baby, he knew what we wanted. WITHIN SECONDS of getting down to the goods, he said "Oh yes, this is definitely a girl. I am 300% positive." And he went out of his way to show us every single little line, and the pubic bone and how there was NO way that this could be a boy. He was very apologetic and gave us a free DVD of the ultrasound, with a ton of pictures. It was funny.

I am not mad at all, or wish I hadn't gone in early to find out... because I know PLENTY of people who have gone in as early as we did and they were right. I just think it was some kind of fluke, and our baby girl's goods were bigger than normal. Mistakes happen. Of course, I wish we had known it was a girl from the beginning so I wouldn't have called our little girl a boy for so long, OR bought all the boy things I did. But i'm glad we found out before we thought were bringing home a baby boy from the hospital. And it actually is pretty funny. It will take me a minute to re-adjust my thoughts into thinking this baby is NOT a boy. But I can't help but look at Rowan and be soooooo excited that she is going to have a little sister. I am thrilled for her! 

So that's our story. Sorry baby girl, for calling you a boy for that long. I'm glad we got it right this time ;)

{halfway there...}

20 Weeks: What I Know Now

- I can't believe how much I have popped this last week! Literally it comes out of nowhere. I think I am probably about two weeks ahead of where I was with rowan. It's crazy how big I feel already since i've made that pop.... but i know it's just begun ;)

- This little guy's kicks are getting stronger and stronger and it's so amazing. I am surprised how low they are, though. And maybe that's why my back hurts more with this pregnancy. Maybe he is just sitting lower than Rowan did.

- I'm not gonna lie, I thought the exhaustion would go away with the second trimester but it hasn't. I am tired all the time. And i'm grateful that rowan is still taking naps because I usually sleep during her nap, unless i'm busy with something else. I really enjoy sleep these days.

- I've gained 6 lb's so far. That hate seeing the scale go up ;(

- We are slowly, but surely starting to collect boy things and it's so fun! Jord doesn't like the financial part of starting over, but it's still fun and exciting.

- The dreaded heartburn as already started. I have woken up from naps almost choking because it's coming up my throat, and sometimes out my nose. I'll hopefully get a prescription from the doctor this next appointment, because to think i have 20 more weeks of heartburn is really not-so fun.

- We have tried to tell rowan about her baby brother and she kind of understands, and kind of doesn't. When we ask here where the baby is, she usually points to the ultrasound on the fridge. But the most embarrassing thing she does is when we try and ask her in front of other people. I'll say "Where is Momma's baby?" and she'll point to the wrong bump on momma. ;) it's very lovely. I'm very excited for her to be a big sister though!

- We went to St. George with our friends a couple weeks ago, and we went to St. George again this week with my side of the family to spend a last vacation with the twinners before they leave on their missions. It's been HOT, but im grateful for a swimming pool to relax and cool off. Pregnancy + Me + Heat is not a good mix. My circulation is out of control, especially when it's HOT!

- Our 20 week ultrasound is coming up in a few days and we are really excited to see our babe! I hope everything looks good, and that he's healthy. We'll see!

- YAY FOR BEING HALFWAY!!!!

{16 weeks...}

Like I mentioned before, I kept a very detailed baby journal when I was pregnant with Rowan. I got it printed off into a book and I love looking back and reading about the good, the bad, the ugly.. and the growing belly ;) So I'm doing it again with this little munchkin! Here's the journal, so far..

16 Weeks: What I Know Now

- It seemed like it took forever to get pregnant this time around. It wasn't with rowan, so it was really hard and really frustrating. It was a huge faith building experience to realize that even though we have righteous desires, they still come when they are supposed to, and not when you want them to. We are extremely grateful for this little one.

- This pregnancy has been SO different thus far. I've experience a whole different sort of "ugly" with migraines, headaches & backaches; which I never did with Rowan. I'm grateful to not be throwing up- but it hasn't been all rainbows and roses. However, i'm just grateful to be pregnant, and to have a healthy baby so far. So I'll take whatever comes my way!

- Since becoming a mom, and since i have more "mom" friends.. i've heard of much more miscarriages recently. I wasn't oblivious when I was pregnant with rowan, but I really didn't worry as much with her. It has been quite the opposite this time around. Up until we saw the Dr for the first time, at 11 weeks, I was beyond stressed. I would cry and cry to Jord because it's all I thought about. We had waited for this baby for so long, and I was filled with anxiety thinking that something was wrong. Those were probably the longest days and weeks of my life before we saw that Dr for the first time. And words cant express the joy and relief I felt when we saw our sweet little babe wiggling on that ultrasound for the first time. 166 bpm was the babe's heartbeat... the sweetest little sound in the whole world.

- We got a new Dr since our last one was up in Logan. Dr. Thomas Judd- he has been around for years. He delivered alot of my siblings, and well and Jord and his siblings! He's a goof, but we like him so far.

- I've gained 2 lb's so far during this pregnancy. But I know it's comin....

- I've started feeling the babe's tiniest little kicks! The greatest feeling in the world.

- My bra size has tripled so far. For reals. And it hasn't felt too great either.

- We decided to find out early what the flavor of our babe is, and it's a BOY!!! we are BEYOND excited. I of course wanted rowan to have a little sister, but as soon as I saw/heard it was a boy, I couldn't stop smiling. We are really SO excited. I can't wait to start buying boy stuff.

{blue or pink?}

Is it blue or pink, what do you think?

well, as an early mother's day present we got to find out that it's a....

It's a BOY!!!!

I, of course, wanted a little sister for rowan...

but as soon as we saw/heard boy, I couldn't stop smiling.

and I haven't stopped smiling since!

(Jord threw his arm up in the air in triumph)

We are REALLY excited. 

{about babe #2...}

I kept a really detailed baby journal when I was pregnant with rowan. I got it printed off into a book and I LOVE looking back and reading about being pregnant with her.... the growing belly, the good experiences, the hard experiences, baby showers (etc.) so I really want to do it again with babe #2.Sso here it begins!

was this a surprise?
Yes and no. No, because we've actually been trying for this babe for quite awhile. 9 months to be exact. They were filled with lots of frustration and lots of tears. Especially because we didn't have to wait very long at all to get pregnant with rowan. So you can imagine how frustrating it would be to not get pregnant month after month after month. It was a really hard time emotionally for me... and for jord as well. I really had no idea what was wrong, and I was so close to calling a doctor and asking for help. January, I thought for sure I was pregnant. (you know, you kind of "make" yourself believe that the signs are there.) and when that wonderful mother nature gifted me with her presence, 4 days early, on my birthday, I absolutely broke down in hysteria. Worst birthday ever. I probably cried for 5 hours straight. Anyways, February rolls around and I decided that I needed to make sure that I was doing everything I could to put myself in a situation where I was really ready to have a baby; physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. So I went back to the gym. The only time that worked the best was to go at 5:30 in the morning before jord left for work. It was so hard to get up when it was freezing and pitch black outside, but I did it. I started making time to really study and read the scriptures. I also made sure that Jord and I got to the temple. It was such a great night. And I felt so at ease knowing that I just needed to turn everything to the Lord and be at peace with where I was in my life. Everything just started to fall into place that month....
February 27, 2013. I woke up and it just popped into my mind that I wanted to check if I was pregnant. I wasn't too hopeful since I really didn't have any "signs" that I could be. But I happened to have one pregnancy test left and I just thought I would check. Jord was in the shower and I hurried and took it, and like it was for rowan, that "pregnant" popped up within 30 seconds. I was totally shocked! I couldn't stop shaking, and smiling, and I ran upstairs and put the stick on the counter so Jord would see it when he got out of the shower, and then I jumped in bed. He got out and I heard, "NO WAY!!!" He came out of the bathroom and with the biggest smile on his face and said "Babe.. for real?!?" and we hugged and laughed for a few minutes. Right before he left for work, he offered the sweetest prayer of thanks because we had been waiting for this baby for so long! We were, and still are SO thrilled!

have you been sick?
Not really at all. I was so sick with Rowan and threw up all the time with her, until I was about 18 weeks. But this pregnancy has been 100% different than it was with Rowan. I have the usual nauseous spells once and awhile, but what has been the hardest has been the migrains, the headaches and the backaches. Even when I was 37 weeks pregnant with rowan, my back didn't hurt... so it's bizarre to me that when the baby is the size of a grape, that my back could be hurting so bad! It's quite strange. I have only thrown up twice, and it's because I had bad migraines. So no, I technically haven't been "sick", but it's sort of been a different kind of ugly this first trimester! But I also know some girls have it so much worse, so i'll count my blessings. And truly, I am so grateful to be pregnant, that I will take anything that comes my way.

do you think it's a boy or girl?
I kind of think it's a boy. Jord is 100% confident that it's a boy. For the reasons that this pregnancy has been so different, and maybe because the chinese calendar says so?! Ha ha. I would really like a baby sister for rowan. My sisters are my best friends, so I want the same for her. It would also help financially, to have two girls in a row. But either way, we will be so excited!

{surprise!}

it's getting hard to hide this growing bump,

but bebe staples part deux is coming Nov 1..

and we are BEYOND excited!

14 weeks and feelin good.